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Much has been told now about Mark's legendary sedan, Loulio the Beach Simulator, but I haven't really mentioned my own Otter hot-rod, the LG 2000.

The LG 2000 was a high-performance 1982 Ford Escort 'L'-class, acquired by me in 1989. It was a slick vehicle with custom detailing. Well, the detailing was actually just the letter 'G', written in magic marker next to the raised 'Escort L' logo on the back fender, but damn it was hot. Especially in the summer, since it didn't have any interior air conditioning.

However, I was thrilled when I realized that an undocumented feature of that incredible car was its special 'exterior' air conditioning. Whenever I could, I would treat myself and whatever lucky passengers I was carrying to the awesome exterior air conditioning feature. If the temperature outside was uncomfortably hot, I would roll up the windows, slide the car's heater to 'hottest' and crank up the heating fans. Within minutes the car's interior temperature would climb well above 100 degrees. After a while, everyone inside would be dehydrated and on the verge of fainting.

BUT, when we finally stopped at 7-11 or wherever to get drinks and salt tablets, we would emerge from the car, and the 88 or 90 degree temperature outside would seem truly refreshing and cool. And I could feel happy that I had overcome nature, and allowed my friends a few wonderful, refreshing moments of coolness in the heat of the summer.

There's probably lots of stories to tell about the LG 2000. The car lasted well into the 90's, by which time it had accumulated about six thousand dollars in NYC parking tickets, and had to be abandoned in an ice block somewhere in SoHo. I remember it fondly. My only regret is that, to the best of my knowledge, I was the only person to lose their virginity in its passenger seat.

 


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