Here is an anecdote designed to allow the reader to understand the level of boredom that existed in St. Mary's County: the sacred boredom that drove us and others to create the ludicrous memoirs that you read here on

Standard Weekday Night circa 1988: 4:00 PM Mark and I are bored at his house. We are penniless, and my pockets are empty.

6:00 PM Mark and I are so bored we want to kill someone.

7:00 PM Incredibly bored, we board Loulio the Beach Simulator and set off to find respite from boredom

7:15 PM at a 7-11 we spend a precious 50 cents on Street Fighter, aquire slurpees, and I take about a dozen packs of complimentary matches from the counter.

7:20 PM Driving.

9:00 PM still driving, we find the county completely dry of companionship and entertainment. We hit the Super 8 Motel. Mark charms the girl at the front desk while i fill my pockets with complimentary mints.

10:15 PM at the second 7-11, slurpees are refilled, I offer a complimentary mint to the clerk and fill my pockets to the brim with more complimentary matches.

11:30 PM we have both broken into a cold sweat, and are having boredom-induced convulsions.

12:15 PM back to the original 7-11, where I offer more complimentary mints to the clerk and completely empty the box of complimentary matches into my pants.

1:00 AM All audio tapes in Loulio have been played 3 times, we are so bored we cant even talk. We begin exploring obscure back-roads.

2:15 AM In a cul-de-sac in the middle of bum f**k nowhere, I dump all my matches on the street, and create a giant, fast-burning bonfire. We dance around it like a fake hollywod-indian pow-wow, arms flailing, SCREAMING at the gods to the tune of a "Living Colour" song that we are the "Cult of Elvis Presley"

3:00 AM Mark drops me off at my house, and I go to sleep, dreaming the grey rainbow dreams of boredom.


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